But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
