I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
