I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
