i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
