Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
