thus making me awesome and them whores
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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