I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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