you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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