oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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