No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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