I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
And the cops told us we were all naked.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
