you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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