the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
