the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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