Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
