eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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