Can i not drive my cunt home
My liver just broke up with me...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
