PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i came on her dog
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
