youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
