his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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