Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
So squirting runs in the family.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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