so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
