I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
