I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Randomize
