I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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