Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
