shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
