I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
