Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So vagazzling was a success
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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