This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
