he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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