hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
