Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
