Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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