I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My dick has a subreddit
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
