Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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