I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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