She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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