He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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