That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
