I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
false alarm, still single
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