my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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