good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
