its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
