i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
