'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize