I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize