So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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