Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
