Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
