There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
