he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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