i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
