I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
