He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Randomize
