it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
