Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Randomize
