I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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