4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
