Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
