Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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