He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My feet surprised me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
