Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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