i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Randomize
