Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
