just come out here and I will go home with you...
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
