You're so nebulous sometimes
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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